By Charlotte Lucas
Forgive me for saying what most people may not want to hear at this time of year but I really feel that New Year’s resolutions are a load of b…..
They are shame-based promises that we make to ourselves which set us up for failure. Most of the time we will let ourselves down and feel even worse than we did before. How do we expect to commit to an idea we have had just because it’s January when we couldn’t do this earlier in the year? Oh yes, because it’s a New Year! Of course that makes sense, it’s a new year and therefore everything will be new..
For some people having a set goal and focusing in on attaining this may work, but in my experience, this is rarely the case. As Socrates said- ‘know yourself’. This is sometimes harder to do than say, for it can be easier ‘to master the dynamics of another planet than to grasp what is at play in the folds of our own brains’ (The School of Life, Self-knowledge).
I’m going to keep this simple. I recently read a book Wintering by Katherine May (one I recommend by the way). In it she speaks of winter being a time where we need to slow down, reflect and may be even hunker down to take stock and think, rest and be kind to ourselves. This can take many shapes, according to what your idea of relaxation is but it doesn’t include making unrealistic promises to yourself about where you should be and in what time.
So, my advice is this:
- Use the dark, cold nights to rest and restore.
- Watch how it feels to go slow…and when this feels hard, question why? What is your habitual nature/pattern? Can you challenge this?
- Enjoy the cold, take in the bracing air in the day to regularly get out to walk and get some light if you feel SAD. Anyone for cold water swimming?
- Get bored to boost your creativity and see what ideas come up. That’s the point of boredom.
- The seasons are cyclical, when you reflect on this what comes up for you?
- If you have an outdoor space, plant bulbs and watch them grow.
Recommended:
– Buy an electric blanket
– Books to read-How to winter by Karl Leibowitz, Wintering by Katherine May, The School of Life on Self knowledge
– For cooks and meat eaters that are brave- Nose to Tail Eating, A Kind of British cooking by Fergus Henderson
– For cooks and non-meat eaters who are also brave-The Levantine Vegetarian
– Podcasts- Friendaholic by Elizabeth Day (she dissects getting out of toxic relationships very well), The Myth of Being Normal by Gabor Mate
